Friday, December 30, 2011

Money

Well this will probably be my last random post of 2011 which as you guys can tell wasn't really a prolific writing year. But all the best to you all for the new year and thanks for sticking around and reading this blog for another year.


So anyway, (this one going be short) I've been noticing on the web some/alot of photos with randomly ghetto looking people posing off with money. (this pose along with the self portraits with one holding a camera phone in the bathroom seen to be perennial favorites.) This led me to ponder whats the deal with posing with money? Is this an attempt to make you look rich or richer than you are, to let people know you get/stay paid as the vernacular goes? Whats the point?

I also pondered well if I had money would I take pictures with it? And is it safe to take photos with yourself showing off lots and lots of money. Like isn't it a tad bit stupid.

I mean you don't see Warren Buffet or Donald Trump posing in a room full of cash and those dudes are loaded so why do poorer folks do that type of stuff?

For my one part I'm thinking if I had money like that and assuming I hadn't gotten to the bank to deposit it, I'd be tucking it into mi underwear and running down the street like I on fire trying to find a bank to deposit it in. But I guess there are certain businesses and careers where it pays to show off some but still random photos of you spreading out wads of cash in your hand just seem so pathetic and begging for attention.

Anyways I dun. Happy new year to all

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Roy Ayers



Just had to share.

I met Roy Ayers last night!!! No kidding y'all. Apparently he's in town for a show tonight.

I hope allya or at least some a ya know who Roy Ayers is cause it dont seem none of my friends do except for Single Serving Diva. So see me after meeting the man and texting and emailing all my people and they responding is who is dis Roy Ayers fella? chupse! way to bring me down folks, way to bring me down.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

positive never negative

Just a quick one I wanted to get out there.

I dont know if its a Toronto thing or just new age styles but I've noticed that kids are no longer allowed to be criticized. I kind of knew this before but its was reinforced when I got my son's report card yesterday. I mean I'm not saying he's a little devil or anything even close but reading the gobblydegook on his report page it would appear he had nothing to improve on and was if not perfect probably mere percentage points off.....which lemma tell ya he is so not!

Even last year in the parent teachers meetings I got the impression that the teachers werent allowed to say anything about your kid that was negative. Believe me I aint going to get upset with you if you tell me the chile duz talk tummuch in class or playing the tail every once in a while.

Complete opposite to where and when I grew up. If ya was behaving bad, they let you know and you got punished. We used negative reinforcement. Dont do that crap again or liks in ya tail or no tv or write lines and of course mothers were famous for the ever useful "dont let me got to tell your father" line which was the ultimate defense and almost sure to get even the most hardears child to rethink what he was doing.

But back to the teachers and the daycares and the like in Toronto. It would be nice if you clued us in on where our kids were failing so we could know (although most of us do have at least an inkling bout some of it) rather than the new age speak that just makes our kids sound like perfect angels.

Sunday, November 06, 2011

Rush rush

Wow, its been over a month since I posted. My apologies, been crazy busy its like work never stops. Miss you guys.

Anyway, I've been working at a new location for the last few months, one that's closer to the downtown core which means a longer commute for me. I'm now almost in the heart of the business district in Toronto and the one thing I notice about that area is how rushed everyone is. Its like that old adage time is money has been giving physical life by the denizens of this area.

Saturday, October 01, 2011

Streetcar Strangers

Streetcars come in bunches.

No matter how hard they try to space out the scheduling, short turning cars here and there, or giving them their own right of way so that they don't have to combat the intense downtown traffic, there just seems to be something about streetcars more so than buses that leans itself to bunching. I think there is a scientific queuing theory on this but I forget now.

Monday, September 12, 2011

TIFF

I wukkin down near de heart of TIFF these days. By TIFF I mean de Toronto International Film Festival and by the Heart of TIFF I mean downtown near King St W and de Bell lightbox where alot of the TIFF activities duz happen.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

9/11

Not to be overly dramatic but the world changed on September 11th 2001.

As per usual I'm not sure if we really grasped the significance of the occasion as it occurred but by the time the smoke cleared (weeks later) we sort of had an inkling that things would never be the same again.

Friday, September 09, 2011

Food studies

Let me start off first by just saying that of all the major fast food chains I pass through in Toronto Popeyes is by far the worse in terms of service. Is not that I duz eat alot of fast food these days like when I was in school but on the occasion that I do eat it yes Popeyes is a cut below the rest in terms of service. Wendy's McDonalds, KFC, Burger King all dem odda fast food bwoy ya duz get a certain quality a professional service cause dem a keep dem staff in check. Not Popeyes. Surley service by dontcarish staff who look untidy untidy and long long waits for simple items on the menu. They wont evn say amm that not available yet, dem duz tek ya order an den say no ya have to wait 5 minutes for this which is fast food terminology for a 15 minute wait but ya money dun pay so ya cant walk out an say faget it.

And not to diss my people but ya would almost think is West Indian people running dem Popeye resturant ..........but it aint we. Today one a de girls that was serving me had she hands fling off all behind the people counter like she drying she nails or frighten she going break one or she scornful for the food and the people. I couldnt understand what was happeing at all. And doan talk bout all dem untidy looking uniform. lawd! And mi not talking bout at one location cause of the several Popeyes I've been to something has always been lacking in service. Mi tink I might have to permanently done wid dem,

Anyways that rant out the way let me share this one wid ya.

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Aliens

So I started watching this show on the history channel called one Ancient Aliens. All about why we had visitors to earth from the stars way back in the dinosaur days and how such and such a finding supports that theory. Its a bit out there.

Now I ain't saying I believe in aliens and like with everything, I watch this show with a discerning eye but I do find it interesting some of their theories and hypotheses and how they try to tie things together.

What I find even more fascinating than the theories are the very real places on earth that they use to illustrate their alien claims. For instance I didn't know about the underground "man made" or as they would theorize alien made caverns in the Cappadoca region. Caverns that are well ventilated and that could hold about 20,000 people and are surmised to be 100s if not 1000 of years old.

Anyway what I wanted to say is I find that these expert fellas duz try and stretch everything to fit their theory though. Like if they find a big head statue they duz say boy that is a statue of an alien wid bugly eyes and abig head. Or see how the ancient people draw dat stick figure wid three fingers well that was a three fingered alien that they encounter. Or boy we find a coin wid a dog head on it an it proves that back in the day this particular civilization was ruled by a race of big breed dogs.

And they always find these ancient sites and say well no way the ancient man could have built that by himself so clearly it was alien tractor beams and space ships and ion beams that build this pyramid or underground castle or whatever.

Anyway I rambling and just wanted to say this to them fellas. First allya aint know what dem ancient fellas was like, Suppose dem did know more dan we, who tell you we so damn intelligent compared to them or that they needed extra-terrestrial help to build what they build.

Secondly allya never hear about abstract art? Just cause wunnah find a painting wid a man wid a elephant head doan mean dat it is wha somebody really see. Are you saying that the ancient people aint had no imagination? Dat an ancient artist couldn't have said let me do a lil abstract thing or draw a cow head on a cockroach body.

If a fella millions of years from now discover one of we abstract art pieces I hope he aint suh foolish to conclude some a de tings dese fellas duz conclude.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Huh?

I had to read it twice cause um din mek nuh sorta sense to muh



Last night I was filling out some standard insurance type medical forms. Big setta yes and no intrusive questions to answer: do you have hypertension, diabetes, aids, cancer, a nail juk, ya back brek, ya toe chop off, fingernails brek, teeth falling out, one foot longer dan de next, ya duz drink, anybody ever refer to ya in passing as a crack baby, every snort coke, ya on medication, ya on alternative medication, ya walk pass a pharmacy last week, been bitten by a vampire, believe in Obeah, see a steel donkey pun ya roof, been kidnapped by aliens.

And basically if ya ever answer yes to any one a dem questions lawd help ya cause is a whole heap a extra info and 20 other forms ya have to fill out after that.

So anyways what got me was that huddled in the midst of the yes or no questions was one that said have you  visited a physician in the past 5 years.

But wait?? Wha kinda yes or no question that is? Wha most people including muhself will have to truthfully answer yes to that which then necessitates filling out a braiffle a extra forms all because I went to a doctor in the last five years. Wha dat aint mek nuh sorta sense at all.

To be honest dem shud be glad I gine an get myself chek up. Now if I go an answer I aint been to no doctor in the last five years now there I think I would be a problem possibly a liability cause I aint gine got nuh clue whether I got the hypertension, diabetes, aids, cancer, back brek, toe chop off, one foot longer dan de next, been bitten by a vampire or kidnapped by aliens. Well I guess I would know if I get kidnap by aliens but still

So poor me now gotta answer another 20 pages a forms all cause I went to a doctor in the last 5 years. Wha kinda madness is that. 



Sunday, August 14, 2011

Still striving

Wow! It just occurred to me that today is August 14th and its my blogversary!! 7 years! (cue confetti, fireworks and bring out cake).

Not a lot to say though, been a year of few posts so hopefully the next year if I get that far will have more although who knows maybe I should just quit and go peacefully into the night. Oh well!

Anyway as always thanks to all my fans and readers new and old and to my fellow bloggers big up and nuff respect.

Friday, August 05, 2011

What a Kadooment!

Well the finale of Barbados' crop over festival occurred this past Monday with the big annual Kadooment day parade. This year Bajan singer Rihanna took part in the parade and since she is an international superstar of course the international press followed her every move on Kadooment day.


Foreign press is what wrong wid wunnah doah? Chupse!

Judging from the general ignorance I have read on some of the international news sites (mind you most of them arent exactly paragons of excellence) it is clear to me that they either (1) just want to pick on Rihanna or (2) just do not understand a caribbean carnival celebration. I think it may actually be a bit of both.

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

All about me

Neighborhoods are now hoods cause nobody's neighbors
Just animals surviving with that animal behavior

Stakes is High - De la Soul

We had a little discussion on the bus this morning, mi a a bredren. Reflecting on how in this society patience is a bad word and every lil thing people duz be ready to fly up in somebody face like how fowl cock duz puff up dem neck feathers when dey ready to fight. A society on edge.

"Is a all about me society we live in" he say. An me was agreeing cause it seem like everybody these days vex or ready to be vex at the drop of a hat. Maybe is the advances in technology we got that get we so an got we so own way and me me me first. Ya think is coincidence that summuch a we best selling technology name i this an i dat: I-pod and i-pad and i-touch and I everything or ya did thought Steve Jobs was a rasta? I-man say no dread.

Everything on hand now quick quick quick so we patience is a very thin layer that worn thin wid de slightest touch. You bump, I cuss, I scrape, you cuss. Forgiveness non-existent.

And is only gettin worse-er. As each generation gets possibly more tolerant of differences and about old biases towards others they somehow become more intolerant more me-centered in their interactions with others.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Murdoch

Allya see the hearings today in London about the News of the world scandal and the phone hacking? Boy that is some serious serious ting that going down dey wid de media and the police and all sorta everybody involve nuh.

Well I only see lil bit this morning before work. De people did like inquisition in their questioning so I say this thing like it real real serious fi truth. But I aint had nuh time to watch too much.  Anyways the big story was the stupid man that decide he gine throw shaving cream at Rupert Murdoch. Ah doan know why he do it or if dere was a point but he get in there good and close and near lash the man wid de shaving cream pie.

But how a man duz get in a busy session like that wid all dem cameras around an be able to build a shaving cream pie or sneak one in and then run up pun a man on the stand so and try to hit he like that. Wha kinda security dem fellas running, is very lax an ting ya.

But allya see Murdoch young wife reaction? De woman near jump ova anudda woman back to cuff the pie thrower in he face.

I had to say well well who say recession not hitting dem big multi-millionaire/billionaire fellas an dem aint tightening dem belt like de small man? Who say dat lie man, dem lie! Even a media mogul, rich rich fella like Murdoch cut back and now he wife doubling as bodyguard. See that is how the rich duz stay rich, 'im have the woman multitasking.

But serious though ya know the wife see the man coming at she hubby and thought oh gosh boy doan let he interfere wid mi meal ticket, must protect at all costs.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Motivation

The posts have been sparse of recently. I aint sure why eidda. I duz have lots of things to say but for whatever reason eidda I duz think a dum when I aint close to the computer or I duz think to muhself well somebody else musse say this aready so why bother wasting me time to rehash something sumbody already say.

Plus I finally was beating de facebook addiction when duh finally talk me into this twitter and google plus business. Yes lawd ave mercy in case it wasnt already abundantly clear I am now officially a twit! @jdidthoughts if ya please! I like to think a meself as the pied piper of blogland so ah dare any a wunnah to follow me cause I not sure allya gine be happy where ya end up. lol

Friday, June 24, 2011

Singsperation

We all know that things on tv is nothing like real life but sometimes the differences are too funny.

Take for instance today, mi on the subway coming work and a nice looking young girl sit in one of the seats opposite with her ipod on. Suddenly she starts humming melodically but loudly to the song she's listening to. And then she breaks into song...............

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Only 16

She was only sixteen, only sixteen
I loved her so
But she was too young to fall in love
And I was too young to know

Only 16 - Sam Cooke

“Lost” actor Doug Hutchison, who played Dharma Initiative leader Horace Goodspeed, wed an aspiring country singer 35 years his junior in Las Vegas in May. And we do mean junior. Courtney Alexis Stodden is 16, an also-ran for Miss Teen Washington USA last year. For those of you a little hazy on the math, Hutchison is 51. 


But wuhloss imagine that! a 51 one year old married to a 16 year old. Who he think he name, Hugh Heffner?

He aint have no shame? Big hard back man 51 and he marrying a child could be he grand daughter. And dont gi me that crap about love aint got no age limits and all that. This is pure lawlessness!

But what got me is to marry the girl mother had to give consent. What kind of mother, in western society, allows their 16 year old to marry a 51 year old? Might as well sell her off into white slavery or something. What a ting! 

Saturday, May 07, 2011

Chocolate wonder

He's five now and thinks he knows everything. Yea right kid!

Two of his friends were over today, I was half asleep and caught the tail end of this conversation. Not sure where it started but I zoned back in sometime about one of them talking about curly hair. Clearly it had some racial implications even if they were oblivious. One friend said "and you're chocolate" to which my son replied "Chocolate! I'm not chocolate!" His voice charged with some sort of disdain.

The other chile says "Yes you are chocolate and I'm caramel! (latter we decided he was closer to butterscotch but that's another story)

My son always one for the final word goes "No I'm not chocolate, I'm Kit Kat!"

And I just started laughing.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Guhway jamaicans!!

Just keep sending us your dancehall music but try an and keep wunnah bajanman-stealing women outta we country alright. - signed the bajan public


I'm sure some of you have heard about the claims by a Jamaican national last week who said she was "finger raped" by immigration officers while attempting to enter Barbados

Lawd ave mercy!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Name that War

Back to this quest to oust Ghadafi and get our hands on his oil. I was wondering who duz name these wars and military operations for the US and NATO and them big fellas so? Cause I realize this little anti-Ghadafi thing that happening now name one Operation Odyssey Dawn which sounds all noble an ting like they pull it off a C.S Lewis book (Dawn Treader anyone) and I remember they had one in Afghanistan name Everlasting freedom or Enduring freedom or something so (which sound like a fella should stan up an salute) and we all remember the big one ...... Operation Desert Storm back in 1991. 

Monday, March 21, 2011

Saa dam!! Gaddafi

We will be here forever, Do you understand? FOREVER
Forever and ever And ever and ever
We will be here forever
Do you understand that? Get what I'm saying?
FOREVER!


Krs-one - Krs-one attacks

Now I don't think I've ever been a Gaddafi fan but does the west know what they are doing in Libya?

I think my first comment on hearing about the protests in Libya a few weeks ago was do you really think Gaddafi will go silently into the night just like that? Naa star, dude's been running things with an iron fist for decades. He's had beef with US presidents all the way back to like Reagan and he's still standing. If there was a last despot standing reality tv show it'd be him, Kim Jong Il and the cats in Iran as the final cut. You think some ragtag band with two kalashinoffs and some molotov cocktails going to move him (ironically I think the Emperor said something similar in Star Wars but whatever)? Chupse, think again.

Saturday, March 05, 2011

Rocks thrown

Yesterday in one of their rare recent good performances the West Indies cricket team beat home team Bangladesh at the Cricket World Cup and then

Angry Bangladesh fans, whose team was bowled out for 58, the lowest total by a Full Member at a World Cup, threw stones at both team buses, cracking two of the West Indian team buses windows. None of the players were injured. 

Now I don't intend to make a mountain out of a molehill here but I wasn't pleased with these comments by International Cricket Council (ICC) chief Haroon Lorgat:
Lorgat played down the incident, calling it "minor," and explained why it was not as serious as had been originally reported. "It was a few individuals who threw pebbles at the bus, and they were pebbles." 
 Well I guess it must have been a whole truckload of pebbles to be cracking the glass on these buses which I assume would have been reinforced in some way.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Not an easy road

It's not an easy road
Many see the glamour and the glitter
And think it's a bed of rose
Who feels it knows
Lord help me sustain these blows


Not an Easy road - Buju Banton

I'll admit it. I really didnt follow this Buju case as closely as I should have but now that he's been found guilty I still feel I should say a likkle something.

First off, I'll admit I'm biased when it comes to Buju. I love most of his music. Been a fan since he came on the scene in the late 80s early 90s before he was rasta. My favorite Buju tunes are Til I'm laid to rest, Deportees , Close one yesterday and How it a go go which pretty much span the range of his entire career and I think Til Shiloh is the best album to ever come out of Jamaica by anyone not named Bob.

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Halle Berry

Is it just my thinking or does Halle Berry really stink at choosing men?

I mean don't get me wrong, she is one of the most beautiful women in the world great at her proven craft of acting but.......

Monday, February 07, 2011

Spies like us

link

Canadian spies are being warned not to wear their loyalty on their sleeve — or their wrist or lapel.
The hush-hush reminder to employees of the Canadian Security Intelligence Service advises keeping polo shirts, watches and pins emblazoned with the distinctive CSIS crest away from curious eyes.
The items are sold in a secret shop tucked away on the lower level of CSIS headquarters in Ottawa, and made available to employees posted elsewhere through the agency’s online memorabilia catalogue.

 For real? I mean I was hoping April Fools come early but alas the story seems true. So no wonder Americans make jokes of Canadians.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

A thought

Is funny sometimes how thoughts duz get into ya head aint it. And for me my thoughts duz go off on some serious tangents sometimes. Like today on the way back from lunch I see a young lady with half of her head dyed in a shockingly pink colour.

And not only that but the hair did match the hot pink with purple at the bottom jacket which match the pink pants she was wearing which match the pink and white handbag she had in her hands. Only thing wasnt matching was the knapsack on her back which was an interesting multi-coloured florescent collage centering around a flamboyant green.

Which got me thinking....

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Frowzy

link

Josh Le donned the same pair of skin-tight jeans for 15 months without washing them. The idea was to break in the raw denim so the fabric would hug the contours of his body, leaving distinct wear lines and creases.


The fella wear the same pair of jeans almost every day for 15 months straight without washing dem. Can you say stinky and frowsy?

What got me is the picture of the fella in the news article all happy an smiling. What he smiling bout? If I did wearing de same jeans for 15 months straight widout washing dem I wun be so excited. in fact I aint know bout wunnah but I wud be shame to let anybody at all see my face.

And I have to ask this. He aint have no girlfriend or woman? I assuming not cause what respectable young lady wud go out wid a fella wid dat sorta hygene?

An dat is anudda thing wid de smiling thing. Who going want to go out wid him now after reading that and seeing his big smiling photo? Oh wait you is the fella wid de frowzy pants? Uh uh I busy fa the rest a de year amm life doan call me back thank you.

I tellin ya even if he cyber dating de man destined to be a bachelor for life.

Oh well. I guess he happy with his discovery and all but I guess society where he from not like society where I from cause if dat was me not only me wud be shame but my family wud disown me one time. Dem wud feel I mental or something. I could see my mudda sayin "an sumting juss went wrong wid de boy head, like somebody gi he sumting to mek he stupidity stupidity, walkin roun wearing dem frowzy pants all the time. Last time he pass by I wun let he in de house an I had a mind to throw some jaysfluid pun he".

And of course I would be forever nicknamed frowzy pants.

And people would see mi family and whisper "hey ya see he, yes he, he family to the frowzy pants ya kno" and all mi family shame shame shame.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Travel woes

Happy new year all!

Now listen very carefully I will only say this once.

Ya see me? I aint neva travelling to Barbados by no cheap plane again ya hear. Who me? No boy I cant do dat no more. Not again! Ya might save a few coppers but this cheap plane ting will kill ya stone dead.

So just before Christmas I decide I gine home to Barbados for the holidays. Now usually I duz be more organized an try an leave early an come back before New years cause ya can get some affordable flights if ya plan properly but this time I aint had no choice but to go home a few days before Christmas and the affordable pickings was slim to none cause ya know all these airlines duz double and triple dem prices once dem see December reach an Christmas on the horizon.

So anyway somebody send muh an email saying such an such a charter gine to Bim an de price did look a bit reasonable well better than the resta flights so I say to myself, self boy like ya gine gotta do a ting wid dis charter ting. So although I was a bit apprehensive I book the flight an start getting ready to go home.

Now ya see me, I really not one a dem regular West Indian travellers dat ya duz see in the airport travelling wid 6 suitcases full up a ham, turkey and more meat dan ya cud pick up during Supercentre's Run For your money when dem gine home or dat duz come back up hayso laden down wid yam, breadfruit, dasheen an every ground provision dem cud lay dem hands on an try to sneak dem through secuity even though they know dem things cant import so. No bosie dat aint me at all. I duz usually travel light light light an carry only wha I suppose to carry. Mi aint tekkin a chance wid a fella at all at all.

But wid de baggage weight restriction I seeing on the ticket from this charter I did a little worried cause I figure once I put two underwear an a bath trunk in de bag my allowance dun reach.

But anyways I do muh best, weigh de bag at home an come in under the allowed weight. Get to the airport early early early an wha greet muh but a big long dutty lawless line stretch out at the departure desk cause all the people that like dem gine to the Caribbean that day like dem leffin the same time as me. All I cud do is stan up, wait an sing long two lil hymns to pass de time. Which remind me, if ya singing in de people airport doan sing Swing lo sweet Chariot, cause dem duz get worried and start asking ya all sorta questions and fa ID an ting so.

So an hour later when I get up to the front desk to check in I put my baggage on the scale an de igrant plane woman start giving me all sorta hassle bout the bag under the allowance but the weight of my carry on count towards the 2lbs dem giving ya as baggage allowance an dat put me ova. Lawd god fadda! I tell she the ticket aint say nuttin so an me an she did gettin ready to argue loud an long when she decide to lemma guh long cause I aint know wha kinda lawlessness dem gettin on wid bout carry on weight count towards luggage allowance when we aint custom to dat foolishness.

But still de Fadda was looking out fa muh so dat get straighten an I went through immigration wid less hassle dan usual. Cause wunnah know most times dese days dem duz want ya tek off ya belt, ya shoes, ya jewelleries, eva single iota when ya passing immigration. One time a immigration woman even mek me unbutton my pants button. Good ting I duz always leff home in clean bividees cause I had to ask she if is really weapon she searchin for or is sumting else she lookin fa.

But anyways all dat drama out de way an I get pun the plane now.

First ting now de people plane ram off, not a seat vacant an dem juss happen to put me in a seat dat faulty. I feel is the same igrant woman dat did wanta quarrel bout de baggage dat had it in fa muh an gi me the worse-est seat on de plane she cud find cause everytime I put the seat in the upright position an lean back the seat sliding backwards gradually. Nuh big issue but then on takeoff one hardface stewardess come to quarrel wid me bout why I aint got my seat in the upright position? I had to let she know plainly and loudly that the seat dun brek an um wun stan upright an ask wha exacty she want me to do bout that cause um was brek before i sit down in um. chupse! See dese igrant people, when dem get a lil position wid some power duz always wanta try an mek ya look small if dem can, like ya aint got nuh sense, dat is why ya duz gotta carry dem on juss as scruffy as them trying to carry you on.

Oh and then we aint leff til an hour later than we was supposed to leff. chupse!

But anyways what really took the cake for the flight was my seating companion and I cudda write a whole blog bout she.

So I sitting down deyso in my seat on the end and a ol lady on the odda end and in walks this nice looking twenty something young girl all pretty up an ting to occupy the seat between we. So at first I look at she an say to myself is how come when I was single I couldnt get a seat next to nuhbody dat was under 300lbs or sweating like dem juss run a marathon but now I well and truly married dem wait to put pretty young girls next to me. dat aint fair at all den. chupse!

But I shoulda known ya cant judge a book by its cover. From the time the young girl sit down next to me on the plane is one whole heap a sneezing and sniffling she start up wid an she head all in she hands bow down like she ketchin bad feels. So I sitting down dey thinking boy ya in some trouble cause we already know the air circulation on dem planes doan be the best and here you is sitting next to Typhoid Mary so ya gine gotta try ya best not to ketch wha she got.

So I feeling a way and praying that I doan get sick from all dem sniffles.

Well I had hope that I cud get way and come out the end a de flight widout ketchin dis girl flu cause thinking positively I was hoping she din too bad off wid de cold. Maybe dem was juss travel sniffles and coughing.

Well people wunnah wud know that that thought flee my head one time and I had to raise the white flag soon soon after that when the young girl reach in she purse an pull out a big able jar a Vicks and start to rub down sheself from head to toe! From then I knew I was a goner cause if a put together young girl like she, ona dem types dat looking posh an ting so gine reach fa Vicks and rub down ya dun know she got to got SARs or at least H1N1 to be resorting to dem sorta measures.

Wunnah feel I duz mek dese tings up nuh? No man I got imagination but I couldn't mek dat wun up. Is true man, true true true.

And after that well 5 hours later wid de chair still not in the upright position, I get off the plane feeling sick muhself and when ya hear the shout I was sick in bed the first 6 days I did in Barbados. Did even sick Christmas marnin an couldnt get out to 5 o clock service or enjoy my ham and Jug Jug. Cuhdear!

So neva neva again, me an dem charters boy. Nevers!